From Control to Cooperation: How Nature's Wisdom Can Transform Your Life

Lately, I’ve been noticing how much energy it takes to try to control life. And how futile that is. 

When I first moved to the country – from years of apartment living – one of the first pieces of advice I was given was to eradicate an invasive plant from my yard: garlic mustard. 

I pulled and pulled and pulled… and what happened? The garlic mustard was replaced with other, even more invasive plants. But it took me years to figure that out, because Nature’s timeline is a lot longer than my span of attention. 

Whether it’s pulling weeds, managing an endless to-do list, or trying to fix everything for the people we love, trying to control life is exhausting.

Nature whispers a different truth. The wild teaches that thriving doesn’t come from control – it comes from cooperation.

Think of a forest: trees of every kind share light, soil, nutrients, and water through the hidden mycelium network beneath the ground. Even the tiniest beings have an essential place. There’s no need for one to dominate; diversity brings resilience and balance.

The same is true in us. When you stop pushing yourself – demanding perfection, fighting every “invasive” thought or feeling – you make space for cooperation inside. Parts of you that once felt at odds become more spacious and support each other. You soften and thrive.

Sometimes the harder you push, the more tangled things become. But when you lean into cooperation, diversity, and gentle tending, life flows with more ease.

Honestly, this gives me hope for the future. Attempts to dominate and control (whether in the natural world or in our human communities) may feel overwhelming right now, but they rarely succeed for long. Diversity always finds a way to return. Our grassroots of kindness, cooperation, and shared humanity are strong and resilient.

With each challenge, we’re invited to grow stronger, more compassionate, and clearer about what truly matters. Just as the forest thrives through its hidden networks of support, we too can draw on our deep connections with one another and with Nature. Together, we become a living force of renewal—one that cannot be uprooted.

Here’s a 3-minute, tiny but mighty practice to notice the deep resilience in diversity: 

• Step outside and find a place where things are a little wild—maybe a patch of grass breaking through a sidewalk, or a messy corner of your yard. Pause. Breathe. Notice the life there.

• Now, instead of labeling it “good” or “bad,” sense the cooperation at work. How are these plants, bugs, and elements of earth creating balance together? And how does that connect with the bigger sense of earth and sky?

• Take one slow breath into the center of your own chest. Feel that same astounding capacity for cooperation alive within you. You, too, are essential to the wholeness of All-That-Is. 

Releasing Control in Your Life

If you’ve ever tried to over-control your life, you’ll know that it’s exhausting and doesn’t give you the life you actually desire. We always feel like we need to control every aspect of it, but somehow life continues to show us that that is just not possible.

Here are some tips for releasing control in your life, inspired by nature:

1. Let Go of Perfectionism

Just as nature is imperfect and dynamic, so too can your life be. Let go of the need for perfection and focus on progress.

When we focus on perfection, our life can become consumed with what we do, how we perform, and the results that we get… Instead of being about living. Nature constantly reminds us that perfection actually makes things less beautiful. Some of the most beautiful parts in Nature are the “accidents.” Don’t get stuck trying to make everything perfect. It will never be perfect, and you’ll never get anything done. Just have fun with things!

2. Embrace Uncertainty

Nature is full of uncertainties, and so is life. Practice embracing the unknown and finding comfort in ambiguity.

Uncertainty and the unknown can often make people feel very uncomfortable. But at the other end of uncertainty often lie some of the best experiences you can have. Embrace the unknown, be spontaneous, keep an open mind to experiencing life the way it presents itself. Loosening control becomes so much easier when you’re open to uncertainty.

3. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you stay present and focused on the current moment, rather than trying to control the future.

Nature is full of mindfulness. It also gives us the most beautiful places to be mindful. Grounding by walking barefoot in the grass, practicing being present by walking through the forest and touching the trees and plants as you pass, or deep breathing while sitting near and listening to the sounds of the ocean. Mindfulness can help you get to the root of your control drive and release it.

4. Cultivate Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, just as Nature nurtures and supports its creations.

Many times, I see people being unkind to themselves. We often show others a lot more compassion than we do ourselves. Why? Why do we feel it’s okay to talk to ourselves with hate when we wouldn’t dream of doing it to our friends and loved ones? Take a lesson from Nature in cultivating self-compassion. Make it a regular practice. Try to always see the best in yourself and remind yourself every day of everything that is great about you.

5. Learn from Nature's Cycles

Nature's cycles of growth, decay, and renewal can teach you about the importance of letting go and embracing change.

Holding firm control over your life can actually stop you from being able to grow and reach your goals. Every year, Nature goes with the seasons and never stays in one phase. It decays and rests in order to rejuvenate and grow the next year. While we would love the flowers to always stay in bloom and beautiful, that is just not how they work. Nor should it be how you work. Allowing yourself to flow with the cycles of Nature is the only way to truly experience growth. Let go of the tight leash you have on your life and accept the hibernation period when it arrives. What’s on the other side will be so worth it.

By applying these principles and embracing diversity and resilience, you can cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling life. It’ll be amazing what you can accomplish once you let go of control.

The Power of Diversity and Resilience

Diversity is a key component of resilience in Nature. Ecosystems with a wide variety of species are better equipped to withstand disturbances and adapt to changing conditions. This principle can also be applied to personal growth and relationships.

Diversity in Nature

In nature, diversity brings balance and resilience through several mechanisms:

• Varied responses to challenges: Different species respond differently to challenges, allowing the ecosystem to adapt and evolve. Each unique system is required for the ecosystem to run smoothly. One system supports another system. Each system is not the best at everything it requires for survival. The diversity in how each system responds to challenges is what creates a beautiful world.

• Complementary relationships: Species often have complementary relationships, where one species' waste becomes another's resource. Symbiotic relationships in Nature is another example of diversity at work. Members of the same species don’t complement each other because they have the same needs and traits. However, when different species form a symbiotic relationship, that’s where Nature shines. Their strengths can support each other, and they can help offset each other’s challenges.

• Niche occupation: Diverse species occupy different niches, reducing competition and promoting coexistence. They don’t have the same needs, so there isn’t as much competition for survival. They can occupy the same space without one dominating over the other. 

Applying Diversity to Personal Growth

Diversity is also a driver of personal growth. Our own personal growth can happen when others' strengths lift us up and vice versa. 

In personal growth, diversity can manifest in several ways:

• Embracing multiple perspectives: Considering different viewpoints can help you find creative solutions to problems. This is both powerful in your personal life and in your work life. When we work alone, we rely only on what we can come up with. But working in collaboration with others and multiple perspectives can allow us to develop a more thorough and complete solution. We grow when we see things in different ways.

• Cultivating diverse relationships: Building relationships with people from different backgrounds and experiences can broaden your understanding of the world. Not only can you create more complete solutions at work, but it can also support you in your personal life. Seeing the world from different vantage points can only exist when you purposefully create diverse relationships. You can learned from others' lived experiences or from their cultural and historical backgrounds, just like your own unique perspective can support someone else's development. 

• Developing multiple skills: Acquiring a range of skills can make you more adaptable and resilient in the face of challenges. Lifelong learning is a powerful tool that can increase your resilience. It’s even more powerful when you seek learning experiences in diverse environments. There is always something we can learn from other people. Keeping an open mind to what they have to say is an important trait.

Diversity in Relationships

In relationships, diversity can bring several benefits:

• Increased empathy: Exposure to different perspectives and experiences can increase empathy and understanding. What two people bring to the table will always be different. The more people you get to know and form relationships with (and not just romantic relationships), the more empathy you form. You are able to see deeper into people's motivations and approach things with more understanding, knowing that you don’t always know what someone has been through.

• Improved communication: Learning to communicate effectively with people from diverse backgrounds can improve your relationships. Again, once you start to realize that different people bring different experiences and potential traumas to the table, you start to see things in a different light. It makes you have to work harder to communicate effectively, knowing that you don’t always know the full story. The more people you interact with, the more your communication skills grow.

• Enhanced creativity: Collaborating with people from different backgrounds can lead to innovative solutions and ideas. Studies have shown that the more diversity you have in your life, the more creative you tend to be. Learning from different people with different backgrounds and cultures can help you see the world in different ways. This can help you have more creative solutions and be able to think outside of the box. 

Reflection Questions

1. In what areas of your life do you tend to try to exert control, and how might letting go of control in these areas lead to more ease and resilience?

2. How can you cultivate diversity and inclusivity in your relationships and personal growth, and what benefits might this bring to your life?

3. What lessons can you learn from nature's approach to cooperation and resilience, and how might you apply these lessons to your own life and relationships?