Embracing the Quiet Start: Breaking Free from Goal-Setting Fatigue

The last couple of 🌿Messages from Nature, I’ve been pretty down on creating goals or resolutions. Downright negative, actually.

I didn’t want you to think I’m goal-less or that I’ve never created a five-point plan. I have. Many of them.

My resistance to goal-setting, at least as it’s usually framed, comes from experience. I’ve set so many goals… and missed so many of them, it can start to feel embarrassing. Discouraging. Like something is wrong with me.

But here’s the truth: I’m not a failure. And neither are you.

The problem isn’t us. The problem is the kind of goals we’re encouraged to set. Culture-specific goals, goals that sound like: My weight will be ___ by ___. I’ll make ___ dollars this year. I’ll finally become a better ___.

And if you’ve spent any time in the coaching world, it can get downright brutal. We’re flooded with promises of six figures from one launch in three easy steps. (A launch is selling a program.) And apparently we’re supposed to effortlessly lose weight at the same time—ha! Just kidding.

I’ve bought some of those programs. I know better now. They don’t suit me.

Those kinds of goals aren’t born from our deepest truth. They’re handed to us. And when they don’t stick, we turn the blame inward.

If you’ve ever felt like a resolution unraveled before the sun even set on day one–or quietly dissolved by week three–you probably know what I mean.

So, I’ve been asking a different question:
What is your truth?

I’ve noticed that my most meaningful goals arise organically, from a place deep within—somewhere between the Great Mystery and my heart. They come with a feeling of kindness and rightness, not pressure.

Second Nature Reiki suits me. Nature Your Soul suits me. They feel aligned with who I am.

This doesn’t mean that goals like making money, changing habits, or cultivating certain qualities aren’t worthy. Of course they are… when they arise from an authentic place.

My stepson has said since childhood that he wanted to be wealthy. I have no idea where that came from, but he’s consistently made choices that support that dream. And now, at 33, he’s well on his way. (He’s also a genuinely kind human.)

This past year, I reached a goal 27 years in the making: completing my Diplomate Certification in Cranio-Sacral Therapy. I felt like a failure many times along the way when it didn’t happen… again.

What I finally realized was this: it wasn’t me that was the problem. I needed the right conditions.

I gave myself four days at an ocean-side hotel and wrote 10,000 words in just over three days. Later, I created regular library dates to finish the rest. And it worked. I sat for the practical and received my Diplomate in June 2025. I’m so stinking proud of that!

If you’re making resolutions you can’t seem to keep, give yourself some grace. If something truly matters to your soul, you’ll find your way there–especially when you stop fighting yourself and start listening.

Here’s a 3-minute, tiny but mighty practice to help you connect with your place between the Great Mystery and your heart: 

• Step outside, or sit near a window, and find a place to relax. Let yourself settle deeply into the moment. Take a few slow, easy breaths.

• Now, let your awareness gently travel back through this past year. Notice one thing you nurtured, one way you grew, or one moment you stayed true to yourself—even if it feels small or ordinary. Let yourself really feel that. Where do you feel it in your body? Maybe it feels like steadiness, tingling, warmth, or a quiet sense of rightness.

• Now, without pushing or planning, gently ask: “What wants to grow from here?”

• You’re not setting a goal, you’re listening for a direction—a quality, a feeling, a way of being that naturally wants more space. Let that become your intention. 

Instead of a resolution, make a simple intention to honor that yearning. Not with force—but with kindness. It's the best kind of self-care!

Understanding Goal-Setting Fatigue

Traditional goal-setting thrives on hustle, big, loud, rushed, and in-your-face. Society views success by how much we made, how much weight we lost, how big our audience is, how many friends we have, and how big the accomplishment was. But at the end of the day, when we rush out the gate and into hustle mode, that can burn us out or leave us fatigued by March.

Oftentimes, you’re left wondering how you’re already tired when the year has pretty much just started. Goal-setting fatigue. It’s where you feel so exhausted and distanced from your goals that even when you’re successfully working toward them, making progress or even checking them off, your body isn’t invested in them. 

In the end, you’re left feeling unsatisfied or unfazed that you’ve accomplished the goal you’ve set because your mind is ready to go tackle the next thing. Once you reach your goal, suddenly it doesn’t feel good enough; the bar has been raised.

Some common signs of goal-setting fatigue include:

• Feeling Guilty for Resting: You feel like you should always be doing something, even after hitting milestones. There’s no time to celebrate your accomplishment; you simply check it off and move on. If you try to rest after you reach it, you feel like you should be taking more action or doing more.

• Addicted to Planning: You're always planning and starting new projects, but rarely finish them. You use all of your motivation to plan things out, and then you have nothing left for actually going after.

• Moving the Goalpost: Nothing ever feels "done" because you're constantly adjusting your goals. As I mentioned, once you reach your goal, suddenly you increase the expectation. It’s as if once you reach the goal, it becomes the “norm,” and it’s not an accomplishment. Every time you get to your goal or make progress towards it, you raise the bar, and you never actually make it to the end.

• Goals Feel Like Burdens: Your goals stop being sources of inspiration and start feeling like obligations. It feels like a drag to take action on them, like you have to slog on. They stop being fun and instead become a chore. 

• Constant Mental Busyness: You're always thinking about your goals, even in your downtime. They become a source of fixation instead of something you engage in at specific times. Suddenly, they become something you dread instead of something fun. 

How can you overcome this goal-setting fatigue? Focus on the system instead of the goal. Find a way to focus more on the process than the end result. Also, build in rest as a measure of success. Instead of setting specific goals that will be completed in a set way by a set date, try to focus on how you want to feel as you work through things.

Listening to your inner truth

It is said that you have two types of minds: a conscious mind and a subconscious mind. The conscious mind is quite busy and full and is often the one calling the shots. But it tends to get stuck on what is “logical” and “realistic” instead of what you actually desire and need. Its number one goal is to try to keep you safe; however, that is not always what is best for you.

Your subconscious mind, on the other hand, while more difficult to access, typically holds all of the information about what you actually want and need. It is the wisdom holder of your inner truth. 

We all hold our inner truth within us, but some people spend more time trying to access it, while some people aren’t sure how to even do it.

When our conscious mind takes control, and we don’t go deeper, we end up setting goals that don’t really matter to us. They might not be the most important things to us, even if we think they’re the ones we need or want to set. The key is to access our inner wisdom that lives in our subconscious mind. That way, we set goals or intentions that are authentic to who we truly are and are aligned with our higher values.

Reflection Questions:

1. What are some common patterns or habits that contribute to your goal-setting fatigue?

2. How can you shift your focus from achieving specific outcomes to embracing the process and enjoying the journey?

3. What small steps can you take today to tune into your inner wisdom and set intentions that truly resonate with your values?